Hello good people of the cyber world!
So, you may all be aware of the crazy cleaning lady in the library. She has been bothering us (not everybody, we feel, just us) for the last two years. I don't know why. Personal vendetta because her life must be so boring? We do not know.
For example, moving the couches is not allowed. Moving the tables creates a fuss. OK, any sort of behaviour in the HG vicinity is frowned upon by this woman. Seriously. I think she does these things to dramatise her boring job. She really doesn't like us. And her eyes, they are ever watchful.
We pushed two tables together at lunch time and was assaulted with a barrage of comments (most of which I never paid attention to because I was busy rolling my eyes at her). It was 'you can't move the tables', 'there will be a gap', 'make sure you put them back'. Well, lady, it's quite difficult to eat lunch with five people (Tai, Felix, Zoe, Mel and myself) at a table of four. Yeah.
So, my friend Tai decides to test her cleaning abilities. Subtly, he leaves a paper bag, neatly folded in the corner of the table. Minutes pass by, and our eyes have been glancing at the rubbish - waiting.
Suddenly, she appears. Looming from the shadows of her cleaning world. Honing in the rubbish, she strikes, grasping it firmly in her claws and she carries it away. She swoops, depositing her newly-acquired prize into the bin.
Test One: Success.
As engineering students, we all know that no success is truly a success experimentally if it cannot be repeated indefinitely.
We repeated test one. This time with my paper bag containing traces of meat pie from my lunch. The bait is laid, and we once again wait. We think she learns, because quickly she attacks, cleaning our table with such force! It is incredible!
Test Two: Success.
Now, obviously, no theory can be proven without different points of view. Tai, the clever man that he is, devised another plan. It was spurred when deciding to show our friends Zoe and Mel 'Dr. Tran' - a popular YouTube video (you guys should check that shit out). Tai rises from his chair, and moves to sit next to the girls, laptop in hand. When he leaves the vicinity of his original chair,
he doesn't push it back in. Crazy cleaning lady's senses perk up. Her eyes search for the source of what caused her spider-senses to tingle. She narrows in on the chair. She swoops. Back goes the chair.
Test Three: Success.
Although I think it fairly rude to be pushing in our chairs while we sat at the table.
The final test was upon us. Our use of the library café was over, and it was time to leave. I looked at Tai. The glee was clear on our faces. We all stood and quickly exited the HG café. Looking back, we saw her. Looking around cautiously, to make sure we weren't in the vicinity. She quickly moved the tables back into their original position.
Fourth and Final Test: Success.
Ahh how we love to fuck with people.
-A.
Click
here to watch the Dr. Tran video.
Labels: cleaning, crazy, HG, lady